Black Mask and Mutiny

Wench Whisperer will soon be spilling the ink romantic at Mutiny Magazine.  

i'll return to scribing this page anon and, as Eros is my witness, am currently composing a text so incalculable in it's utility that it well may be a factor of preservative significance to many an otherwise foredoomed existence. Do keep a masked-eye open for: The Flower Rules.

    Be whispered, and be saved...

..

s.s.

Pearl Necklace of Wisdom #4

Don't despair should you fail to understand his poem. Consider; it may be his stupid poem which has failed to understand you.

Pearl Necklace of Wisdom #3

A woman who demands adulation is usually unworthy of it.

The Whisperer is In.

Drank excessively last night? Did something you regret? Wife locked you out of the castle? Mistress won't speak to you? Girlfriend plotting vengeance even as you kneel at the chamber pot defenseless and casting up accounts betwixt apologies? Not sure what you did or if you'll ever be forgiven for it? Just want the broad to stop yelling and throwing things at you?

Fear ye not! The Wench Whisperer is in.

Pearl (Necklace) of Wisdom #2

Those who have mastered their passions never really had any passions.

You've been whispered.

Pearl Necklace of Wisdom

Today's flatterer is tomorrow's batterer.

You've been whispered.

Don't Step in the Stalker

Dear Wench Whisperer, 

I am in a band. There are always a dozen or so women (groupies) hanging around backstage after our gigs. We all partake of these women but for some reason I always end up being stalked by the groupies I shag. This doesn't happen to the other guys in the band. What am I doing wrong? I'm always friendly to our fans, and hence treat the groupies respectfully too, yet for some reason they just won't go away when the sex is over. I'm really tired of being stalked by women whom I can't even remember their names. Please help!  -Stalker Magnet

Magnet,

a fan will be satisfied by an autograph on paper or her breast, but, to a groupie, sex is like an autograph. She wants to brag about it to her friends and put another notch in her stilettos, hang another scalp from her garter. She doesn't want true romance. When you treat a groupie with too much respect it only confuses her and causes her to entertain unrealistic fantasies of coupledom. Don't do it. 

   Apparently the other guys in your band have figured this out already, which is why they don't have this problem. Remember: Shagging a groupie is essentially the same as signing an autograph; one should never use his best penmanship. 

   You've been whispered...

Wench Whisperer Returning

To the dedicated readers of Wench Whisperer, this is the new website. i'll be back to writing the blogs and answering your queries, hopefully within the month. So keep a masked eye on this page for new wisdom and don't hesitate to write if you're in dire need of a whispering. 

Godspeed.

The Whisperer is OUT.

i'll be returning with more wisdom, archiving posts, etc. post-sloth. Keep your powder dry and your wenches wet. Godspeed.

Ask and Be Whispered

The Whisperer is in.